nightmare.

In the first chapter I was enraptured by the destruction that hit Malcolm's family, once his father had died. They were low on cash and unfortunately had to sacrifice their pride to accept the charity money that was being given to them. In the novel, Malcolm states how, "We began to go swiftly downhill. The physical downhill wasn't as quick as the psychological. My mother was, above everything else, a proud woman, and it took its toll on her that she was accepting charity" (Haley 13). This really shows how much the state welfare people were slowly shutting her down and causing her to become emotionally drained. It also shows how she is very sensitive about letting her guard down in front of white people since she is an African American, and believes that she is already seen as inferior to them. Her inability to express that she is vulnerable internally destroys her because she begins to lose her strength when she is put into a mental hospital.

While reading this I couldn't help but relate this to how humans of every race feel as though they need to protect themselves and prove to people that they can carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. It also caused me to reflect on how some people are difficult to sympathize for because they need to retain the facade that reads that they have everything under control and don't need any help or support. In some cases, it's human nature, but in this case, it's because Malcolm's mother feels as though she needs to stand strong for her race, since it has been so painfully beaten and trochered in the past.